The first 10 mins
The first 10 mins of lots of situations can be kinda awkward or hard. So just remember, get through the 10 mins of icky weirdness and then something clicks and then it flows.
Dancing
Think back to a time when you are at a family wedding, and the cheesy DJ is enthusiastically playing a Donna Summer track, and the dancefloor is, well, completely empty. The disco lights are flashing, inviting everyone to come and boogie on down, the music pumping through the speakers, and everyone is wondering, ‘who is going to be that mad person to be the first one to step on the dancefloor?’ Crazy Uncle John who has taken advantage of the free bar, Jenny the recent divorcee who is having a mid-life revival (which includes regular raving) or the bridesmaids who feel obliged to get the party started? Well someone has to do it. It takes courage to be the only one moving your body around in jerky actions. How can you go from the high brow conversation over champagne earlier, to stamping your feet and waving your arms around?
The first 10 mins of dancing feels a bit cringey.
What are we all doing? Is this how it is supposed to look like? We might want to leave and get back to the chit-chat.
But then after 10 mins, we realise we can’t stop, the beat has got us going, and it feels good. Each track is keeping us glued to the dance floor, and we get into the flow. Before you know it, the dance floor is packed and everyone has joined and the DJ has cast a spell on us. We dance the night away!
Dating
So you’ve arranged to go on a first date with someone.
You kinda want to cancel cos they are probably not right for you, some of their responses on Hinge were a bit weird, and you can think of way better ways to spend your evening than with some absolute random you’ve plucked from nowhere. You’re feeling like giving up on this dating malarkey altogether and hate the thought of sitting through another disappointing encounter.
Or, you are super excited for the date because you think this one could be special, you have got all dressed up for it, and already imagining this might be the start of the rest of your life. Your mind is bombarded with thoughts about how you’ll get on and if you’ll have enough to talk about. You’ve got butterflies and are a bit jittery.
Either way, you just need to :
- Turn up
- Get through the first 10 mins
And the first 10 mins are always a bit awkward, when you see each other in person up close for the first time. The wave across the room when they first walk in and spot you, the awkward hug (or kiss?) to say hi, the small talk, how are you and how was your journey here, blah blah. But once you’ve chatted for 10 mins, you are IN. Off you go, chatting away about all the things. And genuinely I tend to always enjoy my dates, always nice to meet new people even if isn’t going to turn into something, and I find them relaxing, just get past the first 10 mins!
Difficult conversations
You know you have to bring up that thing that is bothering you eventually. You can’t not, otherwise you will get more and more annoyed, and you can’t ignore it and let it go. They have to know. But you don’t know how to bring it up, without it seeming confrontational or accusational. Or you’re worried you may explode with anger, or you’re worried how they are going to take it.
You put off saying it.
But the charge still lingers… it has to come out! It isn’t fair that they don’t know how much it bothers you.
So you build up the courage to speak up! Come on. It is time to start the chat. And it is scary to say it, sure. But only the first 10 mins… then the conversation (or heated argument) can flow and the energy dissipate. Better out in the open, better aired. And a sense of relief afterwards.
Getting out of bed
I am a pretty dedicated snoozer.
Boy do I love lying in my bed, so relaxed and cocooned off from the rest of the world. Bed so comfy and niiiiiice. Don’t want to face the day with all-the-things… the massive to-do list can wait. Want to go back to the dreamy state, so delicious.
But you have to get up. It is painful, you really don’t want to.
Alarm goes off, ugh, and you’re up! You’re blurry eyed and feeling groggy and yucky. You just wanna crawl back into bed… it was so lovely there.
You just need 10 mins awake.
Clean your teeth, go make a cup of tea. Then once 10 mins has past you’re good to go!
Other things to apply the First 10 minutes rule to:
- Going for a jog. So painful to start, right? But then you get into the rhythm of it and off you go!
- Job interviews — the pressure reduces after 10 mins.
- The adrenaline of a first intimate encounter
I call this the ‘First 10 minutes Rule’. Get through these 10 mins and then you can do all the things you want to do!
Happy reading! Follow me for more of my random thoughts :)
