My shit birthday
8th August is my birthday, and I found out in recent years that this is also the date of ‘Lion’s Gate’.
What is Lion’s Gate?
It is apparently a magical window for transformation and manifestation, as it is the time when the Sun in Leo is in alignment with Sirius and Earth. The Sun is the ruler of the sign Leo, and Sirius is the brightest star in the sky, considered to be the spiritual sun. In astrology, Sirius brings wealth, abundance, fortune and fame. Leo is a sign of creativity, confidence, boldness, enthusiasm… Pretty chuffed I am born on such a great day :)
Although this year I wasn’t feeling any of the good vibes that I usually do. I turned 40 last year and had a festival birthday, surprise birthday AND a last minute cabaret / house party birthday. Lots of fun was had, I received so much love from a lot of people, and I owned entering into the new decade. But 41…. an extra 1… doesn’t feel exciting or significant. I didn’t organise anything, and was travelling to a festival that day so it was a bit of a faff day.
On the morning of my birthday my boyfriend Quinn gave me a necklace and I lost it within 30 minutes. I tried to retrace my steps but it was nowhere to be found. I shrugged it off, I can buy another one, no need to feel bad about it. It isn’t a sign of anything… (don’t read into it!). I only got 1 birthday card in the post, from my mum which said ‘To Iona, Love Mummy’, the printed words in the card being the only message. I got texts from friends asking for my new address on the day of my birthday, so I suppose there was good intentions to send one, just a bit late. I got whatsapps “HAVE AN AMAZING DAY — YOU DESERVE IT” as I looked out of the car window at a massive traffic jam on a grey rainy day.
I checked my Gmail and got some happy birthday messages… and a 10% discount off my next leg wax, £10 voucher if I spend more than £50 at a restaurant, and a free yoga class if I went TODAY. Oh great one companies, cash in on my birthday why don’t you.
When I finally arrived to the festival, I looked around to see people half my age, carrying their multi packs of beer, putting up their flimsy pop up tents, already getting lairy and gagging for a massive rave.
I thought, “I AM TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT”.
It was raining and I didn’t bring my raincoat, so I sheltered in the tea tent, listening to someone playing ‘Wonderwall’ on the guitar. Badly. I eventually embraced the rain (as skin is waterproof right?), proceeded to inevitably get soaked, and ventured into the festival. It was teeming with young-uns with bucket hats- I noted the cool kids liked to show a lot of bum cheek these days. They had that crazy energy like their parents have let them out of the house for the first time ever and they were determined to get off their faces, stay up all night and get off with a sweaty tattooed stranger.
My housemate made an announcement whilst DJing that it was my birthday. The tent of people didn’t know who I was so it was one of those lacklustre ‘Happy Birthday’ songs. I awkwardly stood up and smiled along.
I didn’t get a cake.
I got some facebook posts from people I can’t even remember who they are… and some facebook messenger messages from people wishing me happy birthday whilst selling me something. Huh!
Why am I at a festival?
I’ve been doing this far too long.
Leave it to the kids now and grow up.
I should be having babies now.
By 10pm I was done!!! I said to my boyfriend I was going to bed early and that he could go party, I was too tired to. I couldn’t even be bothered to clean my teeth. He came to bed with me anyway and exclaimed:
“It has been a bit of a shit birthday, hasn’t it?”
To which I protested it hadn’t, and why does he have to be so negative. Ugh. It is just that it is a 40 +1 birthday and no one cares, and I don’t care anyway. Better to get a really good night’s sleep.
Who cares about birthdays anyway.
Lion’s Gate is a lot of codswallop too.
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The next day, the sun shone and we found our tribe of people who are more on our wavelength, and we explored the festival. We danced around to epic bands, played games with each other in the audience, I would steal a snog or two from my boyfriend, I met loads of cool funky people. We were blown away by the epic stages, lasers, lights, and unbelievable DJs. WOWZA. Quinn did a talk on ‘Magick & Consciousness’ and then for the rest of the festival we experienced so many synchronicities.
My joy was back.
And then I realised… he was right, yesterday WAS A SHIT BIRTHDAY!!!!
Then I laughed so hard!
And I reclaimed it as the year I had a shit birthday.
Anyway, Lion’s Gate is the whole period July 28th — 12th August, and it was cloudy on the 8th… so we couldn’t feel the power of Sirius that day, duh.
I gave my insecurities about being too old to the ‘Insecurity Guards’, I was worshipped as the Goddess Iona by Priestesses of The Temple of Zero, danced til sunrise, and completely surrendered to the flow of the festival. I had a marvellous time the following days, without the pressures of enjoying the actual day of the 8th of the 8th. YAY for shit birthday realisations.
