My invented job as a Complimentary Drink at a virtual bar

A few years ago I woke up bolt upright at 4am with an idea, that I just had to dress up as a giant biscuit in train stations and hand out free biscuits with a sign saying ‘Complimentary Biscuits’, and give out heartfelt compliments to each individual. I don’t know why this came to me, but since reading Big Magic, I now believe that ideas are in the consciousness waiting for a body to inhabit them until the person is brave or mad enough to manifest them. I attempted to create a home made biscuit outfit and found someone who was willing to stand in train stations with me doing this (my cheerleader friend Louise!), but then life got in the way and it never happened.

Fast forward to 2020 when I was creating immersive experiences at online parties, when this idea came back to me. The online party was a surreal experience on the Tropicana Fantasea cruise ship, where we greeted customers on board (on zoom of course), and interacted with them in the name of humour and ridiculousness. A holiday starts off well when you’re given complimentary drinks on arrival… so that it is what we did — provide a complimentary drinks reception. I.e. Me, dressed as a drink, complimenting people.

It worked well! Telling people what a lovely hair they have, what gorgeous energy they are giving off, how amazing they are. It brought a smile to their faces to be told nice things and also…everyone loves a pun! Looking back, the outfit could have been better, I literally used some cardboard from the recycling bin, lol. It was effectively a fancy dress outfit enabling interaction with people at our zoom party.

A few months later, we put on a virtual Christmas party demo with performers doing acts such as Santa’s elves, The Queen and her Christmas speech, a magic show and Carol-oke. I decided I wanted to showcase the Complimentary Drinks concept, so I found a co-host, the fabulous actor Tom Lincoln, made a new outfit and auditioned to Hire Space. And they loved it! Next thing I knew, I had bookings every day leading up to Christmas for companies’ Xmas parties.

This blew my mind.

I have always wanted to smash my limiting belief that work could never actually be fun. That I could only make money from ‘serious’ work. And here I was, making money performing as a Complimentary Drink.

I believe that my purpose in life is spreading love, joy and connection. However, I always thought that could only be achieved at parties, at weekends, with people I know. But here was the universe showing me I can spread a little joy to many people in companies, and get paid for it. (Side note… I got my photo in the FT as a Complimentary Drink at virtual parties, but never got a mention in there in my 15 year career as a Chartered Accountant.)

Hire Space got so many bookings that some more people had to be recruited to be drinks. A fabulous team emerged. People came up with their own outfits and drinks names and put their own spin on it. And the love spread even more!

Ahhhhh my heart sings looking at these photos!

The reason it worked so well at virtual Xmas parties, is because:

• Company parties usually put on free drinks, so this is the alternative virtual bar
• People just love a pun
• Silly costumes
• It is funny
• It is interactive and connecting. I was talking with people, not just performing for them.
• We were using playfulness to make it OK for me to say nice things and it not be too cringey or creepy
• Words of affirmation is one of the Love Languages
• It isn’t a very British thing to be forthcoming with compliments, especially to colleagues, and this was a great ice breaker.

I have seen first hand in the last 3 weeks that people LOVE being told nice things about themselves. Some people told me it should be called the ‘self-esteem room’, that they were blushing, that they were getting emotional, and that they haven’t heard such nice things from anyone in years, that they are sticking in this room until the bar runs dry. Compliments were free-flowing at our bar! Sometimes they wouldn’t quite get it, and assume they would be back-handed compliments, and be quite confused about it all being so positively positive. We would compliment strangers, maybe get a laugh, and then encourage others to compliment each other — and we were witnessing colleagues saying the most beautiful heartfelt things to each other! People would then go to the rest of the party but might pop back for a top up at the bar.

At the end of every party, I would feel a bubbling of joy endorphins inside of me rush to my head, thinking of the love that was created and exchanged. 💕💕💕💕💕💕.

Things that I noticed in my month of complimenting:

• People often find it difficult to receive compliments. They are resistant to it, can’t take more than one, and get embarrassed easily.
• People want to give a compliment back straight way, as ‘payment’ for the compliment that they received. I got so many compliments back, even though I was the Complimentary Drink!
• People love giving compliments to each other, they just need a little bit of encouragement.
• All it takes is a few words to lift a person. So simple.

How did I go about complimenting? Well…I made sure I didn’t focus too much on appearance. Maybe they had a wonderful smile and gorgeous hair, sure. But it is so much better to compliment on the vibe they are giving off. I would tell people things that everyone needs to hear — “you are radiating with loveliness”, “you are valued”, “you are doing a great job at life”. I would mix it up with being totally authentic, then being a bit silly. My co-host would love to tell people completely abstract stories to get to a complimentary conclusion, for example about when he travelled to Guatemala and climbed a volcano and how that person reminded him of that experience — as they had so much power inside them, like that dormant volcano. Which was so random because then they lifted up their child’s game in front of them which was … ‘Build a Volcano’. Coincidence?

Well… there were lots of these coincidences and I am now completely convinced that I have some psychic abilities. I don’t think I was picking random compliments, I was feeling people and then positive words were flowing out of my mouth about them in-the-moment. They were often so shocked that I knew some specific detail about them. I was shocked too! I don’t know where it came from. I just knew they were a sailor or they had got into embroidery that year. It’s easy to tell if someone is life and soul of the party if they arrive with a fun outfit and are obviously gregarious, and if they were a bit older I would say what a great leader they were assuming that they must be the boss. It was more random when I instinctively knew that their best quality was how reliable and organised they were. People would ask if I had been prepped before their party with compliments, but I hadn’t, I was making it up entirely!

It has been such a buzz to bring Complimentary Drinks to Virtual Christmas parties this December. What next? I thought it would be funny to put myself on Fiverr. However I’d really love to expand the drinks troupe and set up the most loving bar, IRL. And go into companies after work on Friday evenings with a drinks trolley and a whole load of people dressed as drinks bringing unbridled joy to people for a pre-weekend boost! And just get the world to raise their vibrations to new levels of love, spreading it to everyone else. And for people to think lovely positive things about themselves more often too.

The world needs more joy and love. Why do we hold it back?! It has been a pleasure to be given the chance to encourage it at this time when people have been isolated for so long. And just remember… YOU ARE AMAZING!