Career Change Limbo Land

Where is my squiggly career path taking me to next? And where to focus my energy?

Welcome to Career Change Limbo Land.

I am going round and round in circles trying to figure out what to do next. Been on training courses, read books, had career coaching sessions, meditated, asked tarot card readers, been on retreats… but still no absolute clarity on what THE THING is that I need to go towards next.

In my exploration, I have dipped my toes into many things. I have designed game shows, pub quizzes, communication workshops, networking events, online parties, immersive theatre journeys, dance classes, retreats and more. I have DJed, performed, danced for music videos and hosted cabarets. I have entertained a wide range of people including toddlers, conscious seekers, corporates and global festival audiences. I have hosted experiences online from dating to cookie baking, sexy dancing to alien parties, working with Secret Cinema to Burning Man. I have facilitated dance workshops from cheesy boogies, to holding space for people witnessing each other moving through emotions at retreats, to instigating playful flirtatious dancing at festivals. I’ve worked in tech support and online party consultancy. I LOVE to create random videos on instagram of me prancing around, being a bit silly — not the most innovative of videos but you could say I have dabbled in video editing and content creation. I am going to say that I must be an ‘influencer’ in Ecstatic Dance as I have recruited SO many people into giving it a go! I put on the London Conscious Dance Festival and have run sober dancing events which from the feedback gave people profound experiences. I bought some silent disco headsets and without really launching a rental business properly I am making money from renting them out. I’ve even started writing blogs (thanks Medium!) and getting quite interested in the power of writing stories. I have made £300 from writing, which I am v proud of :) Also I had a lot of fun launching a chat show, interviewing interesting people about their relationship to joy. People often ask me if I am an actress, must be a vibe I give off, but honestly I am really only able to act out versions of myself, ha. Tried out physical theatre recently and WOW I was hooked.

DJing, dancing, writing, acting, interviewing, facilitating, ceremony leading, workshop design, video creation, comedy… I am proud of all my creativity after a decade of finance!

I did a permaculture design course and am keen to become self sufficient one day and grow my own food; I did a video series on gardening which people seemed to enjoy (they thought it was comedy but it was meant to be informative… whatevs!). I daydream about living in a commune and living off the land. I did a Masters in Renewable Energy and Enterprise, have worked in companies who develop renewable energy projects and I‘d love to work with community owned energy. I did a Dance Movement Psychotherapy foundation course and am fascinated about the power of movement for self awareness and healing. One of my favourite jobs ever was for Camp America when I delivered fun canoeing, kayaking and sailing workshops on a lake in Michigan all summer for kids. I trained as a Woodcraft Folk leader and ran sessions weekly for 6–11year olds in London, and I designed and ran a toddler class called ‘Little Rhythm’ full of singing, dancing and play for under 5s for the Notting Hill set. Some of the most hilarious moments I have seen have been at the ‘Sports Days’ I organised and ran for adults — a whole afternoon of silly competitive and sometimes surreal games in 80s fancy dress.

So what is it?

Working with children? Music? Dance? Therapy? Organising events? Getting adults to connect and play? Designing workshops? Do I want to work on a retreat centre? Is my expertise in creating engaging virtual experiences? Is it self-development that is the hook? Do I care about bringing people together? If I like interviewing people should I launch a podcast? If I am ecstatic dance pioneer, should I funnel my energy into finding the best music and launching myself fully as a conscious DJ? Am I here to raise consciousness through my Authentic Relating workshops and ecstatic dance journeys? Should I be the bridge and connect all the practices I’ve learnt from the hippies and new age pioneers and package them up for the masses? Am I here to spread joy cos I am able to tap into it more easily than other adults? Should I keep on promoting my ‘Complimentary Drinks’ act until I am famous round the world with it, and start a revolution of people complimenting each other? If I like making videos should I go towards being a performer, or a film director or producer? Should I give TV presenting a go? Or launch my own show? Am I a creative? Or am I an entrepreneur? Can I call myself an artist? Could I combine my creativity with my business background? Should I coach others who were once like me, feeling stuck and unfulfilled in their left brain corporate jobs, into evolving into feeling alive and fully expressed? What am I passionate about — well-being, creativity, expression, teaching, dance, climate change, sustainability, play, games, connection, community…?

Or am I just addicted to inspiration and new shiny things to explore?

Can I not stick to anything?

Am I a true renaissance person, a multi-passionate, multi-talented polymath…. or just have an incapacity to commit to any one thing?!

DO I HAVE ADHD?

Does my soul think this is the last lifetime I am going to have so I have to experience EVERYTHING?

…. is it too late to become a pop star?!

I am starting to think the best career to go into would be… as a CAREERS ADVISOR. Seeing as though I seem to be trying them all out anyway! Maybe I could do work experience on 50 different jobs through the year and make vlogs on them, teaching people about them all. Then I would never get bored, hey? When people say that ‘every day is different’ in their standard office job, I don’t think it will be quite the same as me literally having a new job to try out every week!

Maybe all my exploration is leading me to become a guru, I can start channelling all the answers to everyone like Teal Swan and save the world. Actually, maybe I should get over myself and realise it is time I practically save the world… go volunteer, go run an orphanage, become an activist. Or dedicate myself to cleaning up the toxicity on this planet from people to oceans, from corporates to government systems. Yikes, so many options and directions. HOW TO CHOOSE?

So many things to consider:

My passions, my gifts, my purpose. What the world needs. What is practically possible. What will make me happy. And that dreaded thing which makes all of this the most difficult thing to decide of all, (and what caused me to choose the wrong profession in the first place)… MONEY!!!